I moved here two years ago after falling in love with the idea of living in New York! The popularity of shows like Sex and the City and Friends helped paint the delusion of a fabulous, fast-paced euphoria filled with interesting people, exciting nightlife, and great restaurants. Somehow I don't remember rodents being featured in any of the images on Manhattan drew me here?
It was one thing to get used to seeing rodents playing on street corners at night or the subways but the line is crossed when you spot them at your place of employment or even worse, in your overpriced matchbox sized apartment! I consider myself to be a fairly masculine guy and I have a respect for the niches that all organisms fill in a particular ecosystem and all of that nice shit but not in my damn apartment!
I'm sorry New Yorkers...I was patient when I first moved here and thought I developed the nonchalant attitude that most New Yorkers have towards crossing paths with our four-legged furry friends but not anymore! I'm going to share something that may sound foreign to native and long-time New Yorkers.....rodents are not just a part of life! If we're talking about life as in the circle of life...well yes, rodents are organisms that have been around long before humans and will likely be around long after humans and they serve an important role as scavengers or whatever....but not in my damn apartment.
In my home state of Texas...it was extremely rare to here of any one having an issue with rodents. If they did, it is was very likely that they lived in the fucking sticks or unfortunately lived in poverty. In New York, it is not uncommon for someone to spot a mouse in a $2200 studio in the meat-packing district! But the difference, other than rent prices, between Texas and New York is that a mere suspicion of a rodent problem would warrant immediate and drastic measures to eradicate the issue! When I was younger, I remember hearing news that a rodent was spotted in the backyard....a really large backyard with several trees. Just to emphasize this point again, YARD, not house, but our huge backyard. That spotting warranted a trip to home depot to buy some "candy bars," block of rat poison.
We didn't have a dog at that time so we happily dropped our "candy bars" all around the gated back yard and front yard. In Texas we don't play...if there is a chance that we are using horribly toxic agents that could be carcinogens or result in the increased likelihood of having webbed feet, we don't care. Living with rodents in unacceptable!
Take the New Yorker....they find out that there apartment has a mouse and they just start being a little more conscious of leaving out dirty dishes. What? Huh? Are you serious? Ok...if they think they have a problem, they may leave out the little sticky traps....cute but come on people!
I had to deal with what most New Yorkers blow off as a minor inconvenience of living in the city when I moved to Brooklyn. After freaking out over the first sighting of something small jetting across a room....I screamed, I was shocked, and utterly disgusted. I was also surprised...it's not like I'm one of those guys that leaves junk on the counter or empty chip bags or pizza boxes around! Trying to take the humane route, I purchased the little ultra sonic pest repellents. You plug these devices into electrical outlets and the high-frequency sounds are supposed to irritate rodents and make them go away.
I slept in peace for about a 2 months before a sitting in the living room! I thought the shit was over but I know know that these damn pest can become habituated to the sound after a short time period. I tried to be nice so then it was time for me to wage war!
I purchased two products from D-con. One was a fancy no-view mouse trap thats supposed to shut when a mouse enters to consume bait and the other was a box of packets with poisonous rat snacks/pellets. I slept well that night....I know had their asses...I left the ultrasonic devices and the D-con products placed!
Two weeks later, while brushing my teeth, a mouse walks near the restroom door, looks at me with pity and keeps walking! What the f**k?!? To add to my arsenal, I purchased four of the little sticky trays....those trays are in the same location and empty. To make matters worse, While watching TV one night last week, a mouse came under my bedroom door, jumped over the damn sticky Tray and flipped me off as he or she ran under the entertainment center.
This past Sunday, the landlord sent a professional exterminator....the end of my worries! I left home in a happy place knowing that the end was near! But why did I go to work to find a dead rat in the toilet! A completely different environment, in a different borough, and no, it wasn't a bar or restaurant. Unacceptable people, unacceptable New York!
A mouse was actually captured on one of the exterminators devices at home last night! Unfortunately, we found this out in the middle of dinner. I was in the middle of a great meal when for the first time I heard a mouse scream. I was happy that a mouse was on a trap, I was sad that the mouse's life was coming to an end, happy that I could sleep more comfortably, disgusted that my meal was ruined.
So, up to the point of writing this blog entry, all is well but the rodent problem...and yes, it is a damn problem, is out of hand. As mentioned before, I'm willing to understand and appreciate the role these scavengers play in a densely populated area like NYC but not in my damn apartment! You guys can accept it as a part of life but not in this damn apartment! Or....maybe not!
A saw a damn mouse run across the other side of this room! I'm not being creative here....it really happened at the end of the last paragraph! Ultrasonic repellents, poison, traps, sticky trays, and a damn exterminator and a mouse is still in the damn apartment. You know what....there is enough stress in New York as it is with noise, deadlines, traffic, and rent increases. A month ago I would've been frightened and stayed up all night thinking of a new way to win this perpetual battle. But you know what? Fuck it, rodents are just a way of life.
Goodnight!
